The Journal: Beginning Again
Some years ask questions. Some, gift us with answers.
Common Discourse is a project designed to help others (and ourselves) think through creativity, focus, and intentional work—from Alex Tan & Alice Otieno.
Every Tuesday we share an idea from us, a quote from somebody else, and links worth sharing. On Fridays we invite a guest to share images from their camera roll and a sound that resonates with them.
“It is essential that I do this work and it is essential that I do it with my body.” — Carrie Mae Weems
“I respect my silences because of this; I respect my own inactivity and disappearances, remembering that not everything in a shell is hiding. It was never fear that made me want to do better, anyway. It was always grace. It was always the realization that I’m free to be anything, so why not choose something generative?” — Walk Worthy, Eloghosa Osunde
As every year closes and one begins, I find myself looking for words and phrases that hold potential for what I want to step into and embody. Toni Cade Bambara’s utterances on words and their ability to “set things in motion” have been circling my mind, alongside Toni Morrison’s definition of success as “a private thing” and it being when you have “fewer and fewer regrets”. Susan Sontag’s New Year prayer for courage pushes me forward.
The majority of 2023 was preoccupied with travel, time spent with friends & family, and navigating the difficult emotions surrounding grief, loss, and life’s inevitable changes—all while simultaneously trying to make room for the present. While much of those times brought a lot of joy and new experiences, they also came with moments that were destabilising. In the midst of moving through it all, I couldn’t help but find it hard to silence the voice that tells you “You can being doing more” or “Why aren’t you producing in the same way you did before.”
Towards the end of last year, I spontaneously decided to take ballet classes with a friend, not realizing how impactful it would be; both physically and mentally.
“If it’s painful, stop and tell me.”
“If you’ve had an injury, do X as an alternative move.”
“Where are is the weight being placed on your body?”
I still hear our teacher’s advice through the filter of an echo-ing, empty room.
Though they may be obvious and quite small sentiments, they have helped me reframe how to move gently, especially when we aren’t feeling our best. These simple phrases provided perspective, and the permission, that drawing back is sometimes all we can do, and pushing ourselves beyond our limit can in fact do more irreparable damage than sitting out.
In December, I spent some time with a podcast/newsletter I’ve been listening to by Ayanna Zaire Cotton, where she provides exercises for figuring out what your creative offering is. I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to reframe one’s creative practice; what is means to be consistent and productive while making room for the inevitabilities that life throws at us. I’ve also been thinking about the theme of approaching practice holistically and iteratively, as opposed to a fixed linear path that insists on success only being measured by standardised, or externally set metrics.
What if a having a conversation was part of the creative process? What if going on a walk, making a meal, gathering with friends, picking up a new hobby was a measure of success?
I think creative fallow periods can make us think that we are only valuable when we’re doing something surmountable or that can be seen. But so often it’s the things that that we do in the background, sometimes unrelated in the moment, that eventually accumulate. When speaking with friends and family, I think of Toni Cade Bambara’s words and how much our conversations give life, direction and articulate where we’re trying to go. I think about the work of artists such as Neema Githere with their definition of “love as a technology” and how practicing that in the form of taking care of others, the world, or oneself is an act of creation too. In a time where the systems at play try to squeeze out whatever purity and sacredness is left from creative work, it feels urgent to think of new ways that we can practice, even if we aren’t doing it in ways that are the “norm”. Or better put by a friend, prioritising fruitfulness over productivity.
I enter the new year with lists of things I want to achieve, yes. But the older I get, I find that the intangible goals are just as important as the tangible ones. Such as, gaining clarity in who we are, what we want to become, and mustering the courage needed to get there.
I write a lot about rest because it isn’t something that always comes naturally to me. My mind is always racing, sometimes for good and sometimes in ways that aren’t so beneficial.
This year, I’m interested in routines that aren’t contingent on us berating ourselves into discipline. Instead, thinking about how can we reframe discipline in a way that is graceful, taking account of the changes around the world, within us and how that affects how much we can give and pour out.
I want to lean more into practice (namely, writing in this context) as a work of architecture, creating things that act as structures for myself and others. Writing as an act of remembering, because the written word is simply a mirror reflecting back to what already is inside us. Writing as a balm to help soothe past and present wounds as we adjust to the world around us. Creation as an act of faith. Creation as love in action. I want to nurture a practice built on longevity, care and communion, that embraces courage in the presence of fear.
As much as this is about one’s work, it’s also an expression about being and living in ways that make us feel more purposeful, connected, and whole. The world may be burning, but we will always have our stories. What matters is that we tell them, hold onto them and allow them to carry us forward.
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"creating things that act as structures for myself and others" "the written word is simply a mirror reflecting back to what already is inside us"
so timely! such reminders are the necessary balm to the soul :)