#030 Acceptance

Happy Tuesday!

I spent all of last week in a house on the Michigan / Indiana state boarder near Lake Michigan. On the left side of the house we were in Eastern Time Zone, and on the right side of the house my phone flipped back to Central Time Zone. I took a few calls and the entire time was questioning what time it actually was. Also realized that time is just made up? Perhaps a construct doesn’t really exist at all? It was one of those weeks.

I am covered in mosquito bites and suddenly remember what cicadas and fireflies are.

Life is simple in the midwest. In Michiana, the fastest pace of life is 10x slower than our slowest in LA. When I’m back in this setting, I hear voices in my head from friends and family telling me to slow down or not take life too seriously or stop working so much.

In my younger and much more ignorant years, I pushed back on slow living so brashly. At 21 I wanted the world. And I wanted to be the opposite of everyone around me. So when they said slow down, I sped up. Or when they said to enjoy time off on the weekends, I used that time to push forward projects like MOUTHWASH.

Those choices paid off in positive ways, but I can’t help but regret to think about how much of an ass I was during certain topics of conversation.

Alex Tan @jalexandertan

older people that discourage you from your dreams are probably afraid that you'll accomplish something they never did

Kenz and I talk all the time about the way our childhoods shape our perspective on the world, and it’s obvious that I have a lot to work through based on the environment that I grew up in. I used to tweet so aggressively that it was obvious I was dealing with pride and ego all at the same time.

As I get older I see value in things I never did before. Life is so insane in that way. These small towns haven’t changed in hundreds of years, but my perspective has greatly. I think about how that shift has freed me from the person I was in order to grow and bloom into person with wider eyes and acceptance for the things that I wouldn’t necessarily choose myself.

I’m so thankful for change and for the sound of water that crashes on shore and for the smell of trees. For spotty cell service and cooking as a form of the most creative option available when it comes to food. For true rest as a vehicle to bigger, better, and more fulfilling work when the time comes.

The things I used to loathe are things that I’ve come to accept as important.

— Alex

Ideas from me

I. THE RIGHT QUESTION

Imagine all the time and energy we could get back if we started by questioning the question.

The answer to "Is this the right question?" is more important than the question itself. 

II. FIRE

The world has naturally taught us to think about only ourselves as individual beings instead of connected people with a common goal. It's why we've gotten so good at neglecting other's needs and cry out so loudly when we're in despair.

When you're inside a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But when you're down the street, you take a look out the window for a few moments before returning back to whatever it was you were doing.

Question the idea of ownership and property. What happens if my house becomes your house, and your house becomes mine? An inherently individualistic society works against basic human needs and desires.

---

Quote from somebody else

“Imagine, on the other hand, if our society had space for all the other character traits out there. If drive and efficiency and productivity weren’t the most important, but were recognised as things that are fiery. But that water, air, and earth all had places that were just as important: that play was important and empathy was important and the ability to think long-term was important. That we recognised our own natural pace, and processing speed, and skills as being valid in their own right, not valid in reference to, or in absence of Fire. 

How would that feel different? 

How would that change our feelings of self-worth? 

How would it change how we felt about ourselves at the end of a day, if it wasn’t measured solely by how productive we were, but maybe by how good a conversation we had with a friend, or how much fun we had, or how we rested very well?”

— Rebecca Altman, Wonder Botanica

---

Links worth sharing

📷 See in Black — Index of Black photographers who invest in, uplift and build community around Black visibility.

🧑🏽‍💻 Sanctuary Computer writes openly about the moral criteria required for them to take on a client.

🌐 Positive Sum Worlds by otherinter.net — Questioning the idea of Public Goods in the modern digital landscape. Long read but so good. Take time to wrap your head around this.

🧠 Simple wisdom from 2-time MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo

📊 The Hierarchy of Insight

🪑 Lovely photo art direction from Possible Objects

---

Thanks for another week!

Common Discourse is a weekly briefing designed to help others (and myself) think through creativity, focus, and intentional work. It hits your inbox every Tuesday at 9:17am.

ℹ️ Read more about Common Discourse here.

📬 If you like this newsletter, please consider sharing with others who might enjoy it as well.

👉 If you’re new here, sign up to receive future briefings.

🗂 Here is every Common Discourse weekly briefing to date.

💬 Reply to this email to open up a conversation, I always respond.